Are you living a life based on someone else’s interpretation?

Last night I was praying for my marriage.  Out of habit I prayed that my husband would love me as Christ loved the church (Epeshians 5:25).  I immediately laughed and realized that I have no idea what that scripture means or what that type of love looks like in a marriage!  I have prayed that scripture so many times over the 15 years of my marriage.

I asked my husband if he knew what it meant or if he knew how to find out what that scripture truly means.  We realized that our marriage had been based on someone else’s interpretation of the scripture because we never took the time to search it for ourselves.  I think that happens a lot in marriages.  We listen to the interpretation of a Pastor, Counselor, or friend and take his/her version as our own and we stick with it.

I realized that I had took the same path with my marriage.  My marriage has been based on someone else’s interpretation of what marriage should be.  15 YEARS and I am just realizing that I never took the time to create a marriage that is authentic to me.  I’ve allowed counseling, teaching, television, books,  other couples, social media, childhood, and Lord nows what else to define my idea of marriage.

I literally realized last night that my role as a wife has been a mask.  Someone told me what marriage should look like and I took the mask and wore it.  And I have been wearing that mask for almost 15 years.  I have always felt like something was missing in my marriage, but I could never quite put my finger on it.

I told my husband that I feel like that I should wake up and introduce myself to him in the morning because he does not know me and I don’t know him.  We have been wearing masks that were given to us and we weren’t aware at the time that we could actually decline those masks and go and create a marriage that we wanted to have.

Y’all I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage on May 17, 2018.   I feel like we should be starting over at day 1 getting to know one another.  Last night I told him that he married a mask.  Since the release of broken little pieces, I have been on a journey of constantly removing masks and desperately trying to get to the core of  WHO I AM!!!

According to Ephesian 5: 1-2, we should be imitators of God and that we should walk in love.  Although I’m not quite sure what that fully means either, I’m going to start by making it a point to daily “Walk in Love” and pray that I begin to gain clarity and understanding of my life.

Deep sigh.  I told y’all that removing masks is no joke, but I also promised to walk out this journey daily with you.  It’s a process and there is no looking back.  Whew!!!!

To be continued…

#brokenlittle pieces #selfcare #selflove #masks

5 Replies to “Are you living a life based on someone else’s interpretation?”

  1. This is a very needed conversation to have. While scriptures are true, how they are interpreted may not be. It is so important to get in there for ourselves and allow Holy Spirit to reveal to us what He wants us to know for our lives concerning whatever it is we are reading. We can’t go on what grandma and ‘nem said. We must find out for ourselves. Thank you for starting this conversation.

    1. Wow! I wonder how many leaders are taking the time to find out how their messages are interpreted. I’m sure 10 people will have 10 different responses to what they took away from a message. Yes, we must seek understanding, even when it goes against what the more seasoned or professional may say. Thanks for stopping by the blog Angel!

  2. When we allow superficial things to bring value they end up replacing the true items of marriage that nurture a healthy relationship. The best thing for my marriage was that in the beginning “we” were all we had….and it left no place to hide. But thats what real intimacy is — in to me see. <3 Love ya Kiz! Thanks for being transparent.

    1. What a powerful response. So many marriages are based on the idea and hope of superficial things. Things like happily ever after or the idea that someone completes you or makes you whole. I am definitely on the journey to discovering true intimacy in my marriage and I love how you break that down. Thanks for stopping by the blog Koddi!

  3. Kizmat, this is beautiful! You stated ” My marriage has been based on someone else’s interpretation of what marriage should be”, I had this revelation for a second time over the weekend which may have been realized during one of my quiet moments. I personally have been choosing to walk in love for quiet some time now and to me that means to love as God loves us which includes showing grace, patience, mercy, forgiveness, understanding, and tenderheartedness unconditionally toward ourselves and others especially our spouses. A lot people have trouble understanding this when it comes to me but i think this is mostly because they have not taken the time to really study the true definition of the love of God. So I focus on my journey as it seems you are doing and allow others to simply see for themselves. Awesome post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *