Lately I have been so intentional with listening. Not so much to others or to things around me, but to my thoughts. I realize that the thoughts in my head are those that are closest to me. It’s my thoughts that ultimately decide what I do with my life. We are taking in information constantly, always listening and hearing, but the question becomes how are your thoughts translating those inputs of information.
I once heard someone say that new authors always ride around with boxes of books in their car, but aren’t selling those books. I heard it. Once I heard it, I could have chosen to dismiss it or hold on to it. I held on to that information and promised myself that would never be me.
Guess what? It hasn’t been me. I always sell out of my books. But I also found myself running into situations where someone wanted to purchase a book and I didn’t have a single book on me. Why? Because I chose to hold on to a comment that I heard from someone else. I made the decision to turn that comment into something negative that I didn’t want to identify with. Looking back, I should have quickly dismissed that comment. I’m a new author! I should always have books readily available to either sell or give away!
All of these thoughts around that one comment were in my head. I wish I had spoken to someone earlier that didn’t carry the same doubt and fears of being a new author. This person made the comment before my book was published, but that comment stayed with me. I didn’t realize how much that one comment had affected me until my husband asked me one day why I didn’t have more books on hand.
I literally said, I’m not riding around in my car with a whole bunch of boxes of books! His response was why not? It was in that moment that I realized how that one comment had affected me. I told him the comment and then all of the extra thoughts in my head that I used to validate such a ridiculous statement.
Sometimes, NO, ALL OF THE TIME, we have to be conscious of the thoughts that we entertain in our head. Especially if those thoughts are serving us no purpose. Or if those thoughts are keeping us from stepping out and trying something new or taking a risk.
What are your thoughts saying to you? Are your thoughts constantly giving LIFE to comments that should have been DEAD the minute you heard them?
Talk to me…
Sometimes it takes me a minute to recognize a block. Especially when that block has to do with money! Something most of us hold so near and dear to our hearts.
I teach my daughter the power of manifestations. She is a techy like her father and my response is when you want more, you need to create more. She’s an actress, so I tell her to see herself booking more jobs to generate the extra income that she needs to buy the things that she wants.
Well that’s exactly what she did! She had her eyes set on buying a new iphone (rolls eyes). I kept preaching the same message, and before I knew it she had booked a job that would pay enough for her purchase the phone. Heavy sigh… Y’all I have been stalling and stalling because I did not want her to spend that much money on a dang phone!!!! I have come up with every excuse in the book to not allow her to get the same phone that I have been telling her to manifest getting.
Today while meeting with my mastermind group, I realized that I was actually projecting my own personal money blocks on her. It was coming from an unhealthy relationship with money and I didn’t even realize it until I spoke about it with my group. I tend to hold on to money, never willingly to give it up in fear that I may not see a return on my investment or that I won’t make it back. But I realized I was literally pushing and projecting my money blocks and fears onto my daughter. My actions were saying, “hold on to your money just in case you don’t have opportunities to make it again.”
The minute I realized this was the case, I took her to get her phone. I also explained to her what I was dealing with in regards to spending money. It became a great teachable moment for the both of us.
Most of our beliefs have been passed down to us and we have to be aware when we are passing it down to our children.
We are still teaching her to save, manage her money, and make smart purchases. And guess what, the minute she decided to make the purchase, she booked another gig. She clearly doesn’t feel the need to hold onto money as if she can’t make anymore. Looks like I will be taking some cues from her when it comes to money blocks!
We all have them. No matter what we are doing in life, we have expectations and then there is time. Sometimes they are spoken, sometimes not, but we all have them.
I just published my first book and I have so many expectations. Expectations of sales, events, book signings, meet-ups, book clubs, lists, you name it… We speak it and try to convince ourselves there is a difference between actually wishing and manifesting, but often in denial of which thought or feeling is the dominant one. Sometimes wishing wins. Sometimes doubt wins. Sometimes I see a glimpse of the manifestation, but not fully.
Time. I’m learning that time is often the killer of dreams. When we actually JUMP (the latest buzz word for taking a chance or risk on something), we expect TIME to accelerate with us at the same rate that we made the impulse decision. No matter how hard we try, we can’t really force the hand of TIME. Time says that your book may eventually end up a bestseller, but it may not happen overnight like the celebrity Gabrielle Union who wrote a book about her truth as well.
Time says that your expectations for sales, bookings, and events may not happen at the pace you expected. But why are my expectations so high? Is it to fulfill a mask of validation? Does the word “bestseller” written across the top of my book validate who I am or what I’ve done? Does it validate how great my book is? Does it validate the impact my book will have on people as they read it? Will I feel the same way if my book only changed the life of one woman versus the lives of one million women?
I’m back to face the question of, who did I really write the book for? Was it for them or was it for me?
I think this is the defining moment where dreams die. Expectations and Time are dream killers. I can allow the unmet expectation to push me forward or stop me in place. I can allow the ticking of the clock to either slow me down or speed me up, but that’s only me and my actions, it has nothing to do with the clock. We all are allotted the same 24 hours in a day and it’s up to each one of us individually to decide how to best maximize that time.
broken little pieces. You are my story, but I refuse to give you the power to define or validate me.
No. More. Masks.