Thoughts… the silent dream killer.


Lately I have been so intentional with listening.  Not so much to others or to things around me, but to my thoughts.  I realize that the thoughts in my head are those that are closest to me.  It’s my thoughts that ultimately decide what I do with my life.  We are taking in information constantly, always listening and hearing, but the question becomes how are your thoughts translating those inputs of information.

I once heard someone say that new authors always ride around with boxes of books in their car, but aren’t selling those booksI heard it.  Once I heard it, I could have chosen to dismiss it or hold on to it.  I held on to that information and promised myself that would never be me.

Guess what?  It hasn’t been me.  I always sell out of my books.  But I also found myself running into situations where someone wanted to purchase a book and I didn’t have a single book on me.  Why?  Because I chose to hold on to a comment that I heard from someone else.  I made the decision to turn that comment into something negative that I didn’t want to identify with.  Looking back, I should have quickly dismissed that comment.  I’m a new author! I should always have books readily available to either sell or give away!

All of these thoughts around that one comment were in my head.  I wish I had spoken to someone earlier that didn’t carry the same doubt and fears of being a new author.  This person made the comment before my book was published, but that comment stayed with me.  I didn’t realize how much that one comment had affected me until my husband asked me one day why I didn’t have more books on hand.

I literally said, I’m not riding around in my car with a whole bunch of boxes of books!  His response was why not?  It was in that moment that I realized how that one comment had affected me.  I told him the comment and then all of the extra thoughts in my head that I used to validate such a ridiculous statement.

Sometimes, NO, ALL OF THE TIME, we have to be conscious of the thoughts that we entertain in our head.  Especially if those thoughts are serving us no purpose.  Or if those thoughts are keeping us from stepping out and trying something new or taking a risk.

What are your thoughts saying to you?  Are your thoughts constantly giving LIFE to comments that should have been DEAD the minute you heard them?

Talk to me…

Don’t miss your moments to Inspire

This was one of those days…

I had literally been on the go ALL day long. From a morning biz meeting, to rushing my daughter to a fitting to be on set ALL day tomorrow, to dropping off a broken laptop UP 75 North (y’all already know traffic is insane) to back down 75 South (equally insane traffic these days) to the mall for a few hours in one store (Apple… never an in and out process) and then back UP 75 North at 5pm, in the middle of rush hour traffic (Jesus be a fence) to pick up my repaired laptop.

**insert screaming emojis because that’s how I felt on the inside**

I didn’t feel as productive as I would have liked, but it all made sense when I ended up pouring life into a college student in the repair shop. She was searching for answers and wanting a glimpse of hope that she was on the right path in life. Every event led up to that moment with her. She immediately bought the book on her kindle and as I was leaving I remembered I had copies in the car (thanks to the advice from my tribe). I blessed her with a copy and spoke words into her life when I signed it.

Sometimes the delays are set-ups so that we can be where we are supposed to be in the right moment. She was my ONE for the day.

Thank God I didn’t allow all of my inconveniences to make me miss a moment to be the light. That moment was more important than working on my course, the workbook, the retreats, the everything. It was more important than the traffic and the delays. 

Don’t miss your moments.

Slow down.

Be present.

Be at peace.

Your ONE needs you.

TIME and Expectations… deep sigh

We all have them.  No matter what we are doing in life, we have expectations and then there is time.  Sometimes they are spoken, sometimes not, but we all have them.

I just published my first book and I have so many expectations.  Expectations of sales, events, book signings, meet-ups, book clubs, lists, you name it…  We speak it and try to convince ourselves there is a difference between actually wishing and manifesting, but often in denial of which thought or feeling is the dominant one.  Sometimes wishing wins.  Sometimes doubt wins.  Sometimes I see a glimpse of the manifestation, but not fully.

Time.  I’m learning that time is often the killer of dreams.  When we actually JUMP (the latest buzz word for taking a chance or risk on something), we expect TIME to accelerate with us at the same rate that we made the impulse decision.  No matter how hard we try, we can’t really force the hand of TIME.  Time says that your book may eventually end up a bestseller, but it may not happen overnight like the celebrity Gabrielle Union who wrote a book about her truth as well.

Time says that your expectations for sales, bookings, and events may not happen at the pace you expected.  But why are my expectations so high?  Is it to fulfill a mask of validation? Does the word “bestseller” written across the top of my book validate who I am or what I’ve done? Does it validate how great my book is? Does it validate the impact my book will have on people as they read it?  Will I feel the same way if my book only changed the life of one woman versus the lives of one million women?

I’m back to face the question of, who did I really write the book for?  Was it for them or was it for me?

I think this is the defining moment where dreams die.  Expectations and Time are dream killers.  I can allow the unmet expectation to push me forward or stop me in place.  I can allow the ticking of the clock to either slow me down or speed me up, but that’s only me and my actions, it has nothing to do with the clock.  We all are allotted the same 24 hours in a day and it’s up to each one of us individually to decide how to best maximize that time.

broken little pieces.  You are my story, but I refuse to give you the power to define or validate me.

No. More. Masks.